Please lose the weight madame, PLEASE!

Alright, so, a sometimes annoying little quirk about Bombay is that when you are stopped at a red light or a traffic jam you are often bombarded by beggars, merchants, and the all famous hijras (hermaphrodites, mostly men dressed like women who saddle right up to the side of your cab and threaten to curse/flash you if immediate cash is not received). The trick is not to look them in the eye, once you've done this you may be followed up to three blocks. You get tapped on the shoulder or on your leg and if your window is down you get books, flowers, mangos, anything thrust into your face. We were just recently hissed at by a particularly insane looking old woman. This process is made even worse by the fact that we are foreigners; and unfortunately, no matter how many kurtas, bindis, or bangles we put on we can't pass for remotely Indian. Foreigners have money and thus are bum rushed everywhere. I once saw a beggar woman point at us from a block down the street and then she and her four children ran through the crowds to surround us. They followed us for a good block until we went into a store. It's horrible but there's really nothing you can do. If you give money you become surrounded by every beggar in the area and I've heard stories about it causing riots. So, you just have to look straight ahead and say "nay".

The people selling things are even worse. Every time you pass someone selling something it's "please madame, please" as they point to their stock and try to trap you into walking into their tent.

Despite how annoying it is having someone rub a blow-up punching bag in your face for ten minutes while you're stuck in traffic, something pretty funny happened yesterday. We were stopped at a red light and someone came up to our taxi selling books. We heard the 'please madame' and we looked away but then he started trying to sell us one particular book: the top seller "Lose the Weight". He looked at Liz and desperately said "Madame please lose the weight, please!" We burst out laughing which must have encouraged him because he started frantically trying to sell us this one book. He kept on with it: "please madame, you're beautiful, you must lose the weight, madame please, lose the weight, pleeease PLEASE!!" We just couldn't stop laughing. Liz is a pretty skinny girl, it was too funny. We kept saying no and trying to dissuade him but he just wouldn't quit. We drove off ten minutes later to cries of "PLEASE MADAME, JUST LOSE THE WEIGHT, PLEEEEASE........"